Headache After a Long Night

Well, friends, whoever is out there, George W. Bush and Condi and I hashed it out
over Camel No. 9's in the pink pack and Dead Guy Ales. Turns out the big terrorists
are not Osama bin Laden et al but instead it was an inside job--inside America, that
is. The Masterminds of the 9/11 and 3/11 attacks as well as Pan Am Flight 103,
for anyone that is interested, is a couple that includes my high school buddy
Nancy Jo Sales (see www.nancyjosales.com) and her husband Frank Morales
and their adopted son, who shot a few people at VA Tech a few weeks ago.
Nancy and Alex (his real name) intended to kill the Pope and Jesus Christ among
other targets. Mr. Bush assured me that the website with Nancy's "Rosebuds"
blog is under FBI surveillance and a warrant has been issued for the arrest
of Nancy Jo Sales (BA Yale University 1986, summa cum laude, MFA Columbia U.)
and her husband Alexander McCullough, who had his name legally changed
to Frank Morales after the couple's long bitter divorce between 1992 and 1994.
George W. Bush will not slide back into alcoholism because of last night's "slip"--
he decided it would be better to sip Dead Guy Ale than be a dead guy.
There was a plot against his life as well.

The ramifications of all this are huge, of course. Number One is that George
Bush, President of the USA, has authorized me, Harriet O. Leach, acting
CIA director, that the troops will begin returning home from Iraq and
Afghanistan on 25 May of THIS YEAR. I had demanded that they start
returning TODAY and some military personnel will be shipping home
today. IRAQ IS NOT TO BLAME, OSAMA IS MUHAMMAD
HE IS OUR FRIEND. SADDAM SHOULD NOT HAVE DIED.
HE WAS MY HUSBAND AND I LOVED HIM. MY NAME SHALL
HENCEFORTH BE HARRIET HUSSEIN, AS I NAMED MYSELF
1) 21 SEPTEMBER 1996 IN PRIVATE 2) 28 DECEMBER 2006
IN PUBLIC.

George W. Bush, the jolly rancher, is a rock 'n roll singer, who goes by
the name Don Henley, if that means anything to anybody. He has been
in love with me at least since I was 13. I refuse his hand in marriage,
because he killed Saddam, and because I am happy with Rae.
On the other hand, if the Celtic ring I wear yokes me to George forever,
I will say I do. For I am heterosexual, through and through.

I am also gay. Does that seem strange? Who's not gay? I'm sorry if they're not.
I'm sorry for anyone who is not gay. Gay marriage? Laura Bush says, well, OK.
After all, she has lesbian feelings for Harriet, which she has written in her
private diary.

Now, another thing I have been authorized to announce to the small group of
friends who may occasionally glance at the blog, is that Condi is running for
President in 2008 and I've agreed to be her running mate.

I'm not 43 but 45 years old. I was born 13 August, 1961, with my sister Karin
at a hospital in East Berlin.

I'M THE MOTHER-FUCKING BERLIN WALL AND I AM NEVER GONNA FALL
with love,
jc.